Privately, explore your actual view of sexuality; it’s the one that’s in your body; it sneaks out when no one’s looking.
Is it about power? Control? Proving (to yourself or someone else) that you are what you wish you were, but are afraid you’re not? If you uncover a role that tries to twist you or someone else into an object, you gotta let it die.
Sex is actually a conversation with another person. If you both listen and both know what you’d like to say, it’s a lot better than words. But if either of you is “deaf” or “can’t speak” sexually, nobody’s gonna be as happy as you’re designed to be.
And if both of you are “deaf” and/or “mute,” then you’re either roommates (which may be okay) or planning a divorce.