Pretty simple, this one: track down one of your afflictive emotions, shame, for example, to its root. “I should have . . . ,” might lead to “If I don’t _____, she won’t like me, she might . . . ,” and that might lead to a fear of loneliness, and then . . . you get the idea; let it have its say, then just let it go, and it will fade, sometimes even disappear. Many worrisome feelings can be unraveled with some mindfulness.
It’s alarmingly easy, once you get past the embarrassment of seeing your skulking little Gollum in the mirror.